The 10 funniest quotes from the Disney movie
There are highly anticipated Disney live-action remakes on the horizon. With the trailer of Pinocchio not long ago published and other developments of The little Mermaid, that only makes it even more exciting for other Disney movies to be reimagined. One of these films is the mythological film Hercules.
The original animated story of a demigod’s quest to become a true hero celebrates its twenty-fifth anniversary this year and is still remembered today as one of Disney’s funniest films. From catchy one-liners to hidden jokes about ancient Greece, some of the funniest quotes from Hercules can still split the sides of even the most serious viewers.
ten Hades’ Wrath
“I have twenty-four hours to get rid of this bozo, before the whole plan I’ve had in place for eighteen years goes up in smoke… And you… wear… HIS MERCHANDISE ?!”
The villain of Hercules is the silver-tongued Lord of the Underworld, Hades, who is not only one of the funniest characters in film, but one of Disney’s funniest villains. This is due both to his deft speaking ways (provided in a legendary performance by James Woods) and his hot temper.
A prime example is his discovery that one of his minions, Pain, bought a pair of Hercules sandals of his own accord. Hades’ angry exclamation perfectly combines his quick wit and temper in a brilliantly funny way. The moment is made even funnier when he sees Panic drinking Hercules brand lemonade and he explodes in a fireball of fury.
9 Why Phil doesn’t train anymore
“Two words: I’m retired.”
Another memorable character from Hercules is Phil, the grumpy satyr hired to train Hercules to become a hero. Part of the reason Phil is such a great character is due to a fun performance from Danny DeVito, in one of his most memorable roles to date.
One of Phil’s notable habits is saying “Two Words” and saying any number of words except two. Most notable is when he first does this, explaining why he refuses to train Hercules. What makes this moment all the more fun is according to The list“I’m retired” is actually two words when pronounced in Greek.
8 Pain and panic are doomed
“Wasn’t Hercules the name of the guy we were supposed to… OH MY GODS!”
Pain and Panic are the clumsy minions of Hades. They are tasked with killing baby Hercules when he has become mortal, but having failed, they lie to Hades and keep him going for eighteen years until Hades learns from Meg that Hercules is still alive.
By the time Pain and Panic realize Hades has figured out their deception, the horror in their expressions is evident. As two comedic sidekicks, the line’s delivery is extremely funny (especially with the nod to the multiple gods of Greek mythology), but it’s hard not to sympathize with them when a very angry Hades unleashes his fiery temper on both of them.
seven Hermes observes
“You know, I haven’t seen so much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”
The film begins on Mount Olympus, where the gods celebrate the birth of Zeus and Hera’s son, Hercules. There are a number of Greek gods present, and that includes the sassy messenger god, Hermes.
After presenting flowers to Hera, he comments that he hasn’t seen so much love “since Narcissus discovered himself”. Allusions to the tragic mythological figure who was cursed to fall in love with his own reflection are turned into a somewhat hilarious burning remark, and it’s made even funnier with the brief shot of Narcissus making faces at his reflection.
6 hercules the hero
“I’ve defeated every monster I’ve faced! I’m the most famous man in all of Greece…I’m an action figure!”
With his handsome appearance and friendship, Hercules is one of the best anime himbo characters. After his energetic edit during “Zero to Hero,” Hercules feels ready to join the gods after becoming a beloved celebrity in Greece, but Zeus has to tell him otherwise.
Hercules’ initial protests about it are shocking without being arrogant, but what really makes this moment unforgettable is when Hercules pulls out a toy version of himself and exclaims “I’m an action figure!” while making the toy squeak. While this is an undeniably funny quote, it’s a fundamental part of Hercules’ character arc and his journey to becoming a true hero.
5 Phil’s very clear instructions
“Are you going to forget the head-chopping thing?!”
Hercules’ first formidable challenge is to battle the dreaded Hydra. The large reptilian creature appears to have been defeated when Hercules chops off its head, only for three more heads to regrow in its place.
Hercules slices off heads again and again until only a writhing mass of large heads can be seen. Right after that hit, Phil angrily yells “Do you want to forget the head-chopping thing?!” Perhaps this is something Hercules should have figured out earlier, so Phil’s frustration is not only funny but also understandable.
4 Complaint after Hades credits
“What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello?! What am I talking to, hyperspace? Hello, it’s me! Nobody’s listening.”
Post-credit scenes in movies are always an unexpected surprise and Hercules contains a brief after the credits. Hades had been pushed into the River Styx with his fate unknown, but he can be heard at the end complaining about how he didn’t get a happy ending and how everyone ignores him.
Hades’ sudden rant at the very end of the film is unexpected, but nonetheless a welcome one and a very laughable moment to end the film well. In fact, in a way, this moment could almost put Hades in a somewhat relatable and sympathetic light, especially when he growls “Nobody’s listening.”
3 Hades and the titans
“Uh, guys? Olympus would be like that.”
Hades’ grand plan is to unleash the gargantuan Titans in order to take over Olympus. He ultimately succeeds, and the Titans unleash their monstrous powers on the world before heading to defeat Zeus.
This impressive introduction as the Titans head for Olympus is briefly but noticeably undermined when Hades interrupts and quickly points them in the right direction. The amusing interjection is a perfect quip that fits perfectly with the character of Hades, the humor and the tone of the film. It’s a little moment in Hercules but turned out to be one of the film’s most memorable scenes, introducing Hades as an intentionally funny Disney villain.
2 Hades does not see it
“It’s a guy!”
In a turn of events, the jaded Meg had fallen in love with Hercules and decides to no longer work for Hades in her plan to eliminate Hercules. Hades doesn’t understand why Meg would sacrifice her freedom for Hercules by exclaiming “He’s a guy!”
It’s a moment that’s not only delivered well (complete with a confused Hades facial expression), but can be seen as a very relatable line in some ways. In fact, Hades’ line and expression are so brilliant that the scene has found its way onto the internet to be used as memes.
1 Meg is not a lady
“I’m a miss. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.”
Meg may not be your typical Disney princess, but she’s definitely one of their best heroines to date. What makes her so adorable is her grounded outlook on life and her quick, sarcastic wit.
She also not only has one of the funniest lines in the movie, but one of the greatest. Captured by the Centaur Nessus, Meg sharply tells Hercules to go away and how she “can handle this”. So much self-awareness and daring seep from his words and leave Hercules momentarily unsure of how to react. Perhaps it’s this moment that instantly makes Meg one of Disney’s best female leads.
NEXT: 10 Disney Princesses Who Aren’t Really Princesses
Harry Potter: 9 little twists that no one talks about
About the Author